What is it about having something taken from us? Whether by choice or by force, we rarely want to relinquish our grip on things we consider “ours.” At times, losing control can even feel like failure or defeat. Regardless of the circumstance, most of us struggle with feelings of loss. Yet perhaps loss itself is not what troubles us most. More often, it is the loss of control that accompanies it.
When loss occurs on our terms, we tend to embrace it more readily. We willingly lose weight through a disciplined diet. We spend money on something we have chosen to purchase. We leave one job for a better opportunity or end a relationship we believe has run its course. Those types of losses feel different because we remain in control of the decision. But consider what happens when something is taken unexpectedly.
For the sake of this discussion, let’s set aside the devastating loss of a loved one and focus on something far less dramatic. Imagine waking up tomorrow and discovering your favorite shirt or blouse has ripped as you’re heading to work. Perhaps you accidentally lose a project you stayed up all night completing, or you misplace your cell phone during lunch. Suddenly, an otherwise normal day feels completely disrupted. Why? Because even minor losses often remind us that we are not in control.
If you have been living anywhere on the globe during the past few years, chances are you have experienced more than a few of these loss-of-control moments. Life has a way of taking us from mountaintop experiences—where everything seems peaceful and predictable—to valleys of uncertainty where very little appears to go according to plan. And these valleys are not reserved for a select few. As Jesus reminds us in Matthew 5, God sends rain on both the just and the unjust. No one is exempt from difficult seasons.
Have you recently found yourself in one of those valleys? Perhaps your best efforts to improve a situation were misunderstood or ineffective. Perhaps you became emotionally and physically exhausted, with little left to give. During seasons like these, we can become vulnerable to discouragement, temptation, frustration, and even conflict with those around us. So where do you turn when life causes you to lose control? In what do you place your confidence? In other words, what is the source of your faith?
The answers vary widely. Some place their trust in personal resilience. Others rely on family, friendships, financial resources, or a higher power. Yet regardless of where our faith resides, it is worth asking an important question: How reliable is the object of that faith? Limited faith in something highly reliable will often produce a far better outcome than great faith in something lacking substance. While there may not be a universally accepted answer to these questions, taking time to honestly consider them can be incredibly valuable when facing circumstances beyond your personal capacity. So where have I ultimately found peace?
While my answer may not resonate with everyone, my joy is rooted in an internal peace—a faith that holds firmly to the promises of a merciful Creator. I readily acknowledge that this confidence was not developed overnight. It was forged through seasons of disappointment, refined through experiences of loss, and strengthened through life’s inevitable challenges. This type of faithful assurance does not guarantee you will never experience loss-of-control moments, but it does promise that you will never face those moments alone.
One of the Scriptures our family frequently shares comes from Isaiah 43. In that chapter, the Lord promises to be with His people as they pass through the rivers and fires of life. Specifically, verse 2 reminds us that the waters will not overwhelm us, nor will the flames consume us. For our family, this passage beautifully captures the essence of persevering through difficult circumstances. Loss-of-control experiences may occur, but God will not allow those circumstances to utterly destroy us.
Here is the reality: if you are searching for a magic wand or a silver bullet that guarantees a life free from pain, disappointment, or hardship, I cannot offer that kind of promise. The world is filled with voices promising wealth, happiness, influence, and fulfillment if we simply adopt the latest philosophy or approach to life. Yet many of those promises prove temporary and insufficient when adversity arrives. However, if you are seeking an enduring peace that can provide stability even during life’s darkest seasons, I encourage you to consider taking a step on this faith journey with us.
Wherever you ultimately choose to place your faith, be certain that the source of your confidence is worthy of your trust. Life’s valley moments will come to all of us, and when they do, we need something capable of carrying us through them. We will indeed be praying for you, my friends.
R. Brockman Pierce Author, The Joy of Significance
Encouraging lives rooted in faith, family, fellowship, and lasting significance.