What is it about something being taken from us? Whether by choice or force, we scarcely want to relinquish grip on things deemed “ours.” Sometimes losing control may even feel as if we have given up or failed at a task. Regardless of the issue, we simply do not like to wrestle with feelings of loss.
That being said, I think the statement needs a bit of refinement. While we do not enjoy loss, we are far more likely to embrace the concept when it occurs on our terms. Hence, we avoid situations of loss when we do not control the environment.
Please allow me to elaborate. It is never a problem to lose weight from a diet, to spend money on a frivolous personal desire, to leave one job in favor of another, or even to close out a relationship when it is on “our” terms. But lose something unexpectedly. A personal memento or even a cherished keepsake. And for the sake of this argument, let’s take the catastrophic loss of a loved one or similar off the table.
But focus on something far less sensational, like merely waking up tomorrow and your favorite shirt or blouse gets ripped as you head to work. Or perhaps loose the project or homework data you stayed up all night completing; or simply misplace your cell phone at lunch. The whole day can be turned upside down! But why? Because any loss, however minor, often means we have lost control of the situation.
And if you have been living anywhere on the globe the past two years, I’m sure you have experienced a loss of control moment with life’s many ups and downs. In fact, we can all routinely go through mountaintop periods where everything is joyous and peaceful, then immediately transition to uncertain, low periods where nothing is turning out in your favor. And low moments are not relegated to only “bad actors,” as Christ Himself informs us in Matthew 5, that the Lord sends rain on the just and unjust alike. Hence, no one is immune from valley moments.
Have you recently struggled in one of these valleys that felt like rock bottom? Even your positive attempts to rectify the situation were misinterpreted or ineffective. And you became literally and figuratively exhausted and had nothing left to offer. At times like these, we can be susceptible to subtle attacks of temptation, and even lash out or become defensive against those around us.
So where do you turn in situations when life causes you to lose control? And in what do you place your confidence? In other words, what is the source of your personal faith? Answers to these questions span the gamut of self-actualized resilience, to faith in a trusted family member, to a higher power, and everything in between. But ask yourself, how reliable is the source in which you place faith? For limited faith in something highly reliable, will overwhelmingly yield a better outcome than considerable faith in something lacking substance. And while there is no definitive right or wrong answer, taking a moment to truly ponder these types of questions might prove beneficial when grappling with a situation beyond your personal capacity.
So, what answers might I offer? How do I maintain a joyful smile during difficult seasons in life? While my answer may not suit all, my personal joy is derived from an internal peace. A faith that holds fast to the promises of a merciful Creator. And while this perspective informs my personal outlook, I readily acknowledge this confidence was not established overnight. It was borne, strengthened, and enhanced in the painful fire of loss, and through the periodic disappointments of life. This type of faithful assurance does not guarantee you will not experience loss of control moments, but it does promise you will never face those situations alone. One specific Scripture our family frequently shares comes from the prophet Isaiah. In the 43rd Chapter, the Lord reveals He will be with us when passing through the rivers and fires of life. Specifically, and thankfully verse 2 says during those situations, the waters will not overwhelm you, nor the fires burn or consume you. We believe this Scripture truly encapsulates the essence of pushing forward in our faith journeys despite uncomfortable circumstances. Hence, loss of control life experiences may occur, but the Lord will not allow the situation to utterly destroy you.
Here’s the reality – if you are looking for a magic wand, or silver bullet to never experience pain or disappointment again, I unfortunately cannot offer that type of comfort. The streets are littered with individuals promising wealth, happiness, and utter prominence for those who merely agree to conform to a new way of living. However, if you are interested in securing an internal peace and comfort that will provide stability, even in the darkest of times, consider taking a step on this new faith journey with us.
But wherever you ultimately decide to place your faith, be sure the substance or the source of your faith is indeed worthy of your confidence. For it most certainly will need to carry you through the periodic loss of control, valley moments of life. We will indeed be praying for you, my friends.